It was when I was only 14 years old. I met a Nigerian guy in the church my family and I used to attend together. (Not going to put his name, for confidential reasons.) We talked as friends for a while, before I made the first move for texting him as he was 17 at the time as we were three years apart from each other in age. He was a kind guy that he did not mind to texting back and forth. I was afraid that he would not be okay with that, but I was surprised completely. It actually made me happy to talk to him more as we only were able to talk at church and that was it. I had a crush on him so I ended up telling him that same day that I began texting him and he said it was mutual, meaning that he felt the same way. In my mind, I was thinking, 'What could go wrong?' and we started dating afterwards too. I enjoyed every moment we were together for the first three months of our relationship. After those three months, I decided to end the relationship after noticing changes in him that I felt like he was not as interested in me anymore as before and I was feeling lonely. So, I texted him, saying 'It was over. I can't do this anymore.' He replied, 'You will never find another guy like me that will love you like I did.'
At that point, I did not think anything of that text, as I thought he was just upset as I had decided to end the relationship that time around. After we broke up, the next day, he asked to come over and talk, so I said 'Yes.' He came over and he tried to win me back, but it was too much seeing him as he was on his knees begging for me to take him back, that I ended up saying 'No. I can't. I'm sorry.' I was crying at the time and was unable to stop. We did not get back together that day, as he left after trying to get me back and I just cried for a long time and then went to bed.
A few days after that, he bought me a nice little gift and expressed his feelings of how he missed me and that was what won me over after seeing how serious he was then trying to get me back. So, we began to date again for a couple months. Within these months, was where the abuse and pain came to be. The first time the abuse happened, was when he accused me of cheating with someone all based off of a picture of a guy in Nigeria, that it got to the extent of him being in my face, and smacking me and grabbing my wrist hard, but after seeing me start crying, was then that he let go of me, and began apologizing to me for hitting me and that it would never happen again and I forgave him for that incident.
The next time that it was really bad, for me, was when I was home with my stepsister and she was about to go home to her mom's house and I was going to be left alone, in the house to night time. I texted my now - ex to come over and spend some time with me as I was going to be by myself for the majority of the day. So, my stepsister went to go get ready to go home and he came while she just got out the shower. He sat down, and realized that I was talking to my stepsister through her bedroom door. He silently called me three times, or so he told me, yet I did not hear him. In the next instant, was when I turned to look at him, he was walking towards me angrily and my first instinct, was not to run, but it was to knock on my stepsister's door and try to have her get it open in time. She opened the door and I tried to close it on him, but it was too late, that he even broke the door with his foot. He backed me into the chair in the room and told my stepsister to leave her own room while she was still in her towel and I had tears in my eyes. I asked her not to leave, but he was furious enough that she left me alone with him. I kept crying that he ended up just walking back to sit down on the couch, that I just broke down and cried even harder. I walked to a nearby wall, and he decided to come over and talk to me, but I was not listening to him, that I decided to walk away but my house was connected to another room in a way, that he was able to get to me. He grabbed my upper arm and pushed me against my couch hard enough for me to hit my waist and my lower back. I was pushing against him and saying, 'Let go of me.' Yet, he kept pushing me back down onto the couch harder that I was in pain. He finally let go, when I stopped fighting back and said, 'You think that you are stronger than me, yet you know you are not.' He left the house then, but he forgot his gloves that time. At the next instant, my stepsister's mom arrived, and before my stepsister left, she told me, that "I need to leave him." I thought long and hard with and then said goodbye to her as she left. I found his gloves and texted him to come and get them. So, he came back and got them. He tried to apologize again, but I said, 'Enough is enough. I can't do this again with you. Please leave.' There, he locked my front door and dropped his gloves again on the table and pushed me against the wall hard and pressure pointed me to the point that I almost lost consciousness as he was smiling at this move. I tried to plead with him to stop, yet he was not satisfied until he had "his way" with me and then he left, and said that 'It's over when I say it's over this time around.' I went to my bed and just cried until I fell asleep. No one knew at that time what I was going through and what I faced as I was afraid to tell anyone, as the power I felt he had over me, that I even thought of taking my own life. But, here I am today, writing this blog from my own organization's page.
More of my personal story to be continued....
Really made this while trying to break down and cry lots of tears.
XoXo,
Celeste Iroha, President
CEO & Founder